September 23, 2009

I’m an Introvert

Before realizing that people would actually be willing to pay me to make them a website, I took a career counseling class at West Valley College. At some point during the course, we took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. I don’t remember exactly what my results were, but I do remember it telling me that I’m an introvert.

My understanding of introversion has always been pretty basic – I know that it’s the reason I prefer to be alone, and that being around other people for too long is draining. But last night I came across this article, “Caring for Your Introvert”, written by Jonathan Rauch for The Atlantic back in March of 2003. I tweeted about it after reading, but it’s too good to not post here as well.

Jonathan did an amazing job describing what it’s like to be an introvert. In fact, I learned that many of my traits I’d always considered to be personality quirks are actually just manifestations of my introversion.

In the midst of making a case that introverts are oppressed, he makes a small aside that struck a chord with me:

Many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors.

I can’t tell you how weird it was to read that. It’s something I’ve always felt, but never really thought through. Another way to put it, perhaps, is that socializing is a third-person experience.

After tweeting about the article, a couple people responded in private (naturally), expressing their agreement with it, which was affirming to hear.

So, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, I highly recommend you give it a read. Either you’re going to learn things about yourself or people you care about, and you’ll be better for it.

Ryan

I couldn’t believe how accurate that article was at describing me. Some phrases were so well stated - particularly the one about feeling like an actor when socializing.

I need to share this with some people I know who (I feel) always think I’m in a bad mood, or depressed or whatever. No, I’m just quiet, drinking it all in.

Brandon Kelly

I sent it to my mom last night as well. Probably going to make it a required reading for close friends going forward :)

Boyink

Introvert..extrovert. So binary. ;)  I’m just a “vert”.  I like socializing and I like solo coding/thinking/reading.  Just not all one or the other.

Brandon Kelly

It’s not that I don’t enjoy others’ company. I love hanging out with my friends, and I’ll even get depressed if I spend too much time alone. But it’s all about the portions.

You, Mike, are probably a blessed rarity. Kind of like how most people are either left- or right-brained, and only a small few are both.

Ryan

No one does just one or the other. As the article states, “First, recognize that it’s not a choice. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s an orientation.” So it’s not about “liking” to do something, it’s about what you do. I like to talk with people, but more often than not, I don’t. I like to go out for drinks, but almost never do. So I can think of myself as mildly extroverted, but my actions tell the real story.

(I know Mike was dying to use his “vert” line here, which dates back to at least 2005 ;) )

Low

Guess you could call me an introvert, too. And I think my girlfriend, who studied psychology, would agree. However, after a couple of beers or wines, I magically transform into what seems to be an extrovert. How odd.

Ryan Irelan

Great write-up, Brandon. I remember reading that article and nodding my head in agreement the entire time. I like to think that us introverts spend more time thinking about stuff and less time talking about it.

Marty Walker

I sent the link to that article to my wife, stating boldly in the subject line “This is me…”, to which she replied, “Who loves quiet conversations about feelings? Ha!”

Now I’m screwed…

Martin

Great find, I did a good few “personality” type tests in my ex-corporate life and was in the introvert side of the spectrum (INFP in myers-briggs talk if I remember - apparently I should have been a social worker or monk!). 

I’ve just sent the link to my wife also (she liked it) - she’s in the opposite quadrant but they say opposites attract, and it’s true! 
As the article implies, as long as you take the time to appreciate the other person’s personality & what get’s under their skin, you can combine the best of both sides & make a great team!

Wes

** Edit To Previous Comment **

This is the link I meant to post:

http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html

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